The road to self care isn’t always about the fun stuff sometimes it’s about making tough decisions and difficult choices.
I have written a blog post previously about self care; however this post explores different aspects of self care that I haven’t previously covered.
Just like everyone else, I am continually learning, reflecting, and re evaluating ‘things’ in life. I am sure many counsellors will agree that although we complete our training, and gain experience as a counsellor, our journey of personal growth just like everyone else’s doesn’t end.
I have recently been through a period in my life when I have been re evaluating ‘stuff’, it’s at times been a tough and lonely road because I have made decisions that have been difficult, painful and uncomfortable. But I have been on this road in order to protect myself, nurture myself, to ensure I’m okay, and to ensure I am remain emotionally health and take care of my mental health. So, why I am I oversharing all my ‘stuff’?! The other day I had a realisation , one of those light bulb moments. This SELF CARE STUFF can be s***y, it can be tough, it can leave you feeling an emotional, blubbing, snotty nose wrecked, that often feels like they are unheard, and it can be downright exhausting and leave you feeling raw. (And yes, I am describing myself! Anyone else sometimes feel like this sometimes?) BUT there is NO ONE ELSE THAT CAN DO IT. NO ONE ELSE GETS WHAT WE NEEDS. THIS SELF CARE STUFF IS ON US!
It was somewhere between blubbing, exhaustion, and a snotty nose that I realised.. SELF CARE isn’t JUST about the light, fluffly, fun stuff it can be about the following:
SAYING NO – even when it feels uncomfortable, or makes you unpopular
SETTING BOUNDARIES IN PLACE- telling someone I am not willing to do this anymore, can feel uncomfortable, and awkward. Yet, at times it is what we need to do to ensure our own self care.
WALKING AWAY FROM RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE CAUSING US PAIN, OR TO FEEL BULLIED, ABUSED, OR HUMILATED- This sometimes can feel incredibly hard, however sometimes this is essential to our self care and maintain our mental health. Continually putting ourselves in situations where we are being bullied, abused, or humiliated can eat away at us, and gradually erode our sense of confidence, self worth, and self esteem. We can lose our sense of self and identity. We can indeed lose our power, and sight of who we are.
SOMETIMES SELF CARE IS ABOUT MAKING THE HARD DECISIONS AND TOUGH CHOICES- It can be painful, messy, and difficult but it is vital to ensure we maintain good mental health and emotional wellbeing.
As I said in my previous post on SELF CARE, it is NOT SELFISH, it is essential to our wellbeing, and as I continue my own personal development road I am reminded of this even further. OUR SELF IS ALL WE HAVE. WE ONLY HAVE ONE SELF. Therefore it is vital that we love, nurture, and care for our own self as best we can. As a say to my clients, YOU KNOW YOURSELF BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE.
It can sometimes be difficult to know what OUR OWN SELF NEEDS particularly when life, social situations, relationships and all manner of circumstances can feel load and seem to drown out what OUR OWN SELF NEEDS. At times like this, I encourage you to take some time to stay grounded and reflect on WHAT IT IS YOU NEED? There are many ways you can use to help yourself stay grounded. Here are a few..
- Take some time for you. Turn of your phone. Do a social media detox. Take some time to sit in silence
- Focus on your breathing when you exhale release and let go of all you are holding on to. Feel any stress, tension, anxiety, frustration or other emotions leave your body
- Stand with your feet firmly rooted on the ground. If you can walking through grass or along a beach can be a lovely way to do this. Or paddling in water or walking through the autumn leaves
- Being mindful. Focus on the world around you. What can you see, feel, hear, smell?
- Thought storm. Dump all your thoughts on paper. Then circle everything that is impacting your own SELF CARE. What alterations can you make to help improve your SELF CARE?
Take good care of your SELF! You are the only one who can do THIS because you know yourself BEST! No one else can do this job better than you. You are the BEST person for this job. If you need any extra help with SELF CARE, why not check out my previous SELF CARE POST. Here’s the link:
SELF CARE AND WHY IT IS IMPORTANT RATHER THAN SELFISH!