How many of you have ever had thoughts like the following ones?
I would like to do that BUT I might not be very good at it.
I would like to do that BUT what if I fail
I would like to try this BUT X said it wouldn’t work for me?
I would like to have done this BUT when I was at school I wasn’t very good at this type of thing.
I would like to do this BUT I’m always rubbish at this sort of thing.
These thoughts or similar ones be known as LIMITING BELIEFS. These thoughts of beliefs might relate to something we wish to do for ourselves, within a relationship, socially, in a work setting, or another environment. In fact they can hold us back from ACHIEVING, OUR DREAMS, GOALS, OR AMBITIONS.
How many of you have ever felt held back, or restricted from doing something as a result of a LIMITING BELIEF? Within this blog post, I wanted to explore our self belief systems and the beliefs that limit us and hold us back.
SELF BELIEF is basically how we view ourselves.
How we see ourself, and our self belief systems start developing in childhood and can evolve over time. It can be based on our relationships, experiences, social situations, work experiences and many different factors.
The beliefs that we hold can empower us equally; they can limit us. Our SELF BELIEF can impact our lives and relationships in a variety of ways.
These beliefs can determine many of our life situations , whether it be relationships, home life, or work these limiting beliefs can negatively impact on us and hold us back. Whilst they might have at times got us through life, they can hinder our ability to grow and blossom. LIMITING BELIEFS come from on what we tell ourselves, what others have told us, and also based on our experience of a certain situation or relationships.
These LIMITING BELIEFS can have an impact on our self confidence and self esteem. They can also devalue the person we are.
LIMITING BELIEFS can evolve through no fault of our own, and quite often it’s possible to not recognise them. However, when we do recognise them, we do have the ability to break those limiting beliefs down, and free ourselves up, enabling us to move forward and achieve all that we wish to in life. What was once might have been seen as a weakness can become a strength.
So, how can we CHANGE AND BREAK FREE from those LIMITING BELIEFS, and the restrictions they place on US?
IDENTIFY key words or phrases that you use with yourself or others that are LIMITING YOU?
ASK YOURSELF, is that a FACT, or a THOUGHT or an OPINION?
THOUGHT STORM..One way you CAN identify is limiting beliefs is to THOUGHT STORM THEM . You can do this by writing down on a piece of paper all those thoughts or messages that you say to yourself . Then all those things that others have ever told you, which might contribute to your limiting beliefs. For example, has anyone ever said to you, You can’t do that, or You wont manage it? If so, these are limiting beliefs and over a period of time the messages we hear from others can become our own language too.
Once you have THOUGHT STORMED the beliefs/thoughts that LIMIT YOU, it can help to rate them between 1 and 10 to identify which of the LIMITING BELIEFS you have, are having the greatest impact on you.By IDENTIFYING what our LIMITING BELIEFS are, this will enable us to CHANGE them if we choose to do so. Whilst the thought of this might seem overwhelming, IDENTIFYING LIMITING BELIEFS, along with a willingness to CHANGE them, can be both ENABLING AND EMPOWERING.
RECOGNISING LIMITING BELIEFS and the impact they have can ENABLE us to be AWARE of our own SELF TALK. For instance, rather than immediately saying I CAN’T DO THAT, how might it be to REPHRASE this to ‘I’M NOT SURE HOW I WOULD DO THAT, BUT I WOULD BE INTERESTED HOW I MIGHT, WHAT COULD I DO THAT MIGHT HELP ME GET THERE.’
LETTING GO OF LIMITING BELIEFS can be key in helping us move forward in life. One way YOU CAN DO this is by writing/or drawing all those limiting beliefs you hold onto about yourself. THEN if you feel it is appropriate either bin them, or burn them (safely). Watch your language. Be aware of how you speak to yourself? How many of you ever say, I would like to do this BUT, I can’t! Yes, I know that there can often be very practical reasons as to why you CAN’T . However, how many times do you say CAN’T or NO when you could be saying YES, I CAN! Speaking from my own experience, I know that there have often been occasions when I haven’t put myself out there, or taken up an opportunity because it’s safer to hide away and not put myself out there. What about you?
CHANGE THE MESSAGES WHICH breaking down long held beliefs can be scary, and absolutely terrifying. However, I would invite you to consider; is fear holding you back because the thought of making changes to your life is too hard, or difficult. Or is it actually unsafe to make a change?
NOW, consider what CHANGES you would like to make to your belief systems. This can take time, and there is never a limit to CHANGE. So, I invite you to take time to consider which; aspects of your life where limiting beliefs have impacted you, would you like to CHANGE?
WHAT 3 THINGS CAN YOU DO TO CREATE THOSE CHANGES?
When considering LIMITING BELIEFS , it is important to remember that these beliefs have evolved overtime, through relationships, social situations, and a variety of circumstances. Therefore, they can take time to CHANGE, however with a new knowledge and awareness, YOU have the ability to make these CHANGES, to set yourself FREE from old thought patterns and beliefs that have previously held you back.VALUING YOURSELF..Choosing to re evaluate your belief systems, and letting go of beliefs is a way of VALUING and LOVING YOURSELF. This can be nurturing us and enable us to GROW. Some ways which can HELP YOU whilst exploring YOUR BELIEF SYSTEMS, and those beliefs that are LIMITING YOU are:
So, how can we change those limiting beliefs, and break free from the ones that hold us back?
Giving yourself time and space contemplate your beliefs or thoughts and which ones might LIMIT YOU.
Writing things down/Drawing/Doodling/Journaling
Practicing Mindfulness
Going for a walk/Spending time outside
Talking positively to yourself/Praising and congratulating yourself on your achievements
Looking at what 3 THINGS YOU CAN CHANGE
Looking at WHAT 3 THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE
Talk to someone
Try something new THEN recognise HOW you felt when you did this
FINALLY, I would like to invite you to CONSIDER the following..
HOW WOULD LIFE BE FOR YOU, IF YOU WERE FREE FROM ALL THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS THAT YOU CURRENTLY HAVE?
WHAT would life LOOK like?
WHAT would life FEEL like?
WHAT would you be DOING that you aren’t doing at the moment?
HOW would life be DIFFERENT FOR YOU without the LIMITING BELIEFS that you currently hold onto?
Before, I finish this post, I wanted to share with you something I often say to my clients. Everything starts with one small step, or planting the seeds of CHANGE. We ALL HAVE the ability to CREATE CHANGE. I wish you all well as you navigate any changes which you might be contemplate. Take care.