The summer period can be a difficult one for many children. For younger ones, it might be the prospect of starting a much bigger school and the changes that this will bring. For older children, it might mean starting uni, college, or a new job.

These changes can be unsettling and bring up a range of different emotions for children and young people. As a parent, I can understand that sitting on the sidelines watching this can also be concerning and bring up different emotions.

FOR CHILDREN MOVING TO SECONDARY SCHOOL.

I am aware of what a big step this can be for children. Moving from a small school to a much bigger environment. If you can, I encourage you to talk through how they might be feeling about their first day. I have supported a lot of children through the school transition period and some of the points can be a concern for children.

• Finding their way round the school
• Taking the right books/equipment on the right day
• Getting to know more teachers
• Being in a bigger environment with older children
• Lunchtimes, possibly using the canteen
• Finding the toilet
• Getting changed for P.E.
• The playground
• The journey to and from the school

MOVING TO UNI
Going to Uni can be another milestone in your child’s life. This can raise a different set of issues like.
• Moving away from home
• Managing money for the first time
• Managing household jobs such as washing and cooking. Maybe for the first time
• Taking responsibility for their academic work
• Perhaps live with a group of other young people

STARTING WORK
• Getting up on time
• New colleagues/Responsibilities/Job Role
• Travel to and from work

Whether we are an adult or a child, sometimes if we have worries or concerns, we might feel silly or that they aren’t that important. This might also mean that your child doesn’t feel able to express them.

What I say to everyone is that whatever your concern/worry/issue is that. IT IS VALID, AND IT IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT MATTERS TO YOU. YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

Having identified some issues that might arise for children and young people during this time of change. I wanted to share a few activities and ways that you can support your child at this time.

• Talk to them. As simple as it sounds, this can sometimes make all the difference. Time and a safe space can be the key to helping your child through this time.

• I understand not all children can put into words how they might be feeling. Equally, some children might not want to speak. Writing, drawing, and doodling can be a great way to express and release feelings or emotions. For older children journalling can be a good way to do this. For younger children make a scrap book where they cut out pictures from magazines, stickers or anything they like.

• Invite your child to write down anything that is worrying (it doesn’t need to be worry you can use this for any emotion), then on a piece of paper. If they can’t write, drawing or doodling is an alternative. Whilst I understand you might want to know what is on their piece of paper, it’s important that they feel happy to share it with you rather than they are feeling they have to. If a child feels they have to share what they have written, it will restrict what they put down.

• Spend time outside. Spending time outdoors can be calming, and relaxing. This can help reduce stress, anxiety, and worry. There are many ways you can do this and make it fun. Simple activities like I spy, or looking out for specific thing whilst out even in the car, for example, who can see a red car, or how many red cars can you see?

• Help them put together an emotional tool kit of things that can help them when they are trying to manage their emotions. You can do this with children of any age and it can be made into a fun activity. One question that can help when you are putting this kit together is asking them, ‘What would help you when you feel this way?’ If they aren’t sure, you could look at the things they like doing which might help you both determine what they would like in their emotional tool kit.

Here are a few ideas of things to include. However, it's important to put things together that help the person that will be using it. Emotional tool kits are very personal things. An additional activity as part of this exercise might be creating, decorating, or making a box, bag or something else to put your kit in.

• Stress balls or playdough can be really useful if your child needs something they can physically help calm them down.

• Pen/Paper/Coloured Pens/Pencils
• Colouring books

• Word Searches/Suduko for older children
• Music
• Post stick notes
• Soft toy/doll
• Jenga..For anyone feeling angry..building towers up and knocking them down can be a good way to release emotions
• Emotions cards (you can create your own). For instance , happy,sad, angry, stressed, scared. These are a tool that your child can use to help express their emotions. It can also be an opportunity to start to develop an understanding of their feelings and emotions.

• Spend time together. This might sound simple but this can be when the important conversations unfold. Board games can be great for this, as can be going out for walks. Sometimes, when you spend time together you can discover things you don’t know about each other. For instance, what’s your favourite childhood memory? Or what makes you feel happy? What is your proudest moment? This is an opportunity for not only you to get to know your child but It’s also an opportunity for your child to get to know you.

CHECKING IN

Emotions can build up over time and sometimes it can be difficult to identify what they are and where they come from. Something I suggest with both children and adult is having a regular check in with yourself. It can be as simple as how am I feeling at the moment? So, I invite you to have conversations with child about how your child is doing? This might sound simple and obvious yet, I am aware that life can get busy, and with so much time spent on electronic devices it can be easy to check out how we are.

Sometimes having a weekly check in timetable can help identify any key emotions or issues that might be having an impact on your child.

A Check In timetable would look like something like the one I have done at the end of this post.

Another thing I suggest parents can use with younger children is a traffic light system. So, you might ask if their day was a traffic light colour which colour would it be. If you have younger children they might like to draw or create their own traffic lights.

Alternatively you could ask your child, how they are feeling right now. Green would be amazing, amber would be okay, red would be bad.

Once you have identified how your child is feeling, you could then and if they were willing break this down a bit further. With older children, you could get them to thought storm everything that left them feeling a particular way. Younger children might like to draw or doodle how they feel. By writing, drawing, or doodling about how they are feeling. This allows children to release and let go of anything they are holding onto. It can be a really useful tool and can help both your child and you make sense of what is going on for them and the support they might need.

When you have finished, it can be helpful to ask them. What small thing might help you at the moment with this situation/feeling? Breaking situations or emotions down into a, smaller, more manageable pieces can sometimes make all the difference to people.

Change at any age can seem overwhelming and daunting. It can be particularly so for children as they navigate not just the emotional changes but the physical changes too.
In my time as a youth worker, counsellor, and nursery nurse, I have learnt is that just like adults sometimes all children want is a space to talk and offload. The world can be a confusing age at any time , but particularly so as a child. As a child we are often told what we should be doing, or how we should behave yet as we mature we have to figure this out by ourselves. Life situations and relationships can be challenging, and difficult at any age, yet for children, it can be far more difficult.

ADDITIONAL POINTS.

Whilst communication plays a really important role in supporting children at this time. Just as important is allowing your child time and space to process their thoughts and emotions. Sometimes life can feel stressful and overwhelming and just having that time and space to process where we are at is an important aspect of mental health for everyone.Whilst you can’t do this for them, talking through any situations that your child might be apprehensive about can help reduce any stress and anxiety your child might be feeling.

It can be difficult supporting children through these key milestones in their life. However, they are very lucky to have YOU supporting them. Life isn’t perfect, but we can only do the best we have with the resources that you have at the time. Sometimes offering your child a space to talk things through and offload. Or to explore, some solutions or coping strategies can make a huge difference.

I wish you well as you navigate this time of change with your child. I have listed some numbers below which might be of help to you.
If you would like further support, please feel free to get in touch with me to discuss how I might be able to help. Appointments are tailored to suit individuals. I am always happy to have a chat to discuss how I might best support your child.

CHECK IN SHEET..HOW AM I FEELING?