"SHINE LIKE THE BRIGHT STAR YOU ARE THIS CHRISTMAS (AND ALWAYS)."

                                                                                                                                                           T.SMITHERS

WAYS TO BOOST AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. TOOLS FOR YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL TOOLKIT TO HELP YOU THROUGH CHRISTMAS AND BEYOND...

This time of year can be a time of great joy and excitement for some. However, for others I know that it can be a source of great pain, sadness, stress, and worry.

Christmas can bring up a range of different situations that you might not normally have to manage.Perhaps you are having to spend Christmas with people you would rather not be with, you are struggling financially. Maybe this year you have experienced a loss or change in circumstances and you will be experiecing differently. It might be that Christmas is a trigger for you and brings up painful memories of Christmases past. Maybe you are struggling to deal with what you have to get done in time for the big day. Or you are doing your best to meet expectations whether they be your own or others.  This time of year can be overwhelming. What I often say to the people I work with is that you are doing the best you can with the resources you have at the time. Also just a reminder, that Christmas is just once a year and you will always remain wonderful you long after the food is eaten and decorations put away.

As well as the pressure we put on ourself there can also be many external pressures from other people, adverts, television and social media. The reality is each everyone of us will experience differently. There is no right or wrong just different.

Whatever your circumstances, you are not alone. Here are a few tips to help you through this time.

• COMMUNICATE with others. Clarify expectations. Sometimes tensions, disputes, and a range of other feelings can arise from a lack of communication. It's okay to express how you feel. It's also okay to say no. Whilst we can't always know what circumstances are going to arise. Sometimes it can help to have a conversation in advance. It can be far easier to sit down calmly and in a relaxed environment to discuss expectations, than fraught and maybe tense conversations in the moment.
• Keep things SIMPLE. Sometimes less is more.
• Set BOUNDARIES. If you want to set a time limit on an event, how much you spend on presents, what you do over Christmas, how much driving you do. It's okay to be clear about what you are able to/would like to do. It's okay to say no sometimes.
• THINK ahead. If you aren't seeing people in new year. Why not PAUSE the present buying until nearer the time?
• Be REALISTIC with your expectations. At this time of year sometimes expectations can be higher. I think it's important to remember that perfect doesn't exist but good enough does! So often we strive to achieve the perfect situation and the enjoyment and fun of it is lost.
• REDUCE any stress/ pressure you are under. ASK FOR HELP. SIMPLIFY THINGS. Do what you can to make things easier for yourself.
• TAKE SOME TIME OUT. it's okay to do this! So I encourage you to allow yourself to do so. Get some fresh air. Go for a walk. Even  offer to do the washing up if that gives you some time out.
• BE MINDFUL.. Focus on being in the present! No pun intended! On that note, I invite you to remember that your presence is a far greater gift than any presents you give. I really believe that time spent with others is the greatest gift we can offer. We live in a busy, fast paced world where time is something we are quite often short off. Being in the moment, enjoying the company of others, talking and listening to others. Just being in the moment is one of the most precious things, I believe we can do an offer. Throughout my time as a counsellor and also on a personal level, I understand the importance of being listened to and being heard.
• HAVE A BREAK from social media, television, and digital devices. Why not try alternative activities such as board games, jigsaw puzzles, charades! Or maybe create a family tradition. Last year we had an art activity.
• Be AWARE of how much alcohol you are drinking. Alcohol can fuel our emotions and also our behaviour, interactions, and our words.
• REMEMBER to breath.
• BE YOURSELF.
• HAVE FUN AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!

If you are reading this and could do with some extra support, I do offer one off counselling appointments. Each and every appointment is tailored to suit each indviduals needs. I also offer reduced rates to those who are experiencing financial hardship. Counselling can be a chance to talk, offload, and also explore some coping strategies. So, if counselling is something you might not previously have considered, but you could do with a space to talk things through at this time of year, please feel free to get in touch. You can message me via my enquiry form or send an email to tracy.stepbystepcounselling@gmail.com.

Wishing you all a very safe Christmas time. Take care of yourself. All the best for 2025.