Tracy Smithers

Step By Step Counselling & Therapies

Carlisle, Penrith and the Eden Valley, North Cumbria


There is a quote by the American Psychologist Carl Rogers that has always resonated with me, it is;

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change".

In the fast moving, world we live in change can happen often, and sometimes it might feel overwhelming. Changes can occur in many different ways it can be in relationships, jobs, moving home, and many other ways. Alternatively change can. Sometimes change can be sudden, sometimes it can be planne in relation to how you see a relationship or set of circumstances.

Change can sometimes be out of our own choice, and other occasions it can be enforced.

Change can be exciting and exhilarating, yet it can also be stressful, and overwhelming.

This post will offer ways to help you manage the changes you might be facing at the moment.

I often say to people you wouldn’t run a marathon without training for it, so to reduce any feelings of stress or overwhelm it can be useful to break the situation down into small pieces. When you break a situation down it can make it far less stressful and overwhelming.

As well as breaking the situation down into small manageable pieces it can also be useful to think about what is in your control, and what don’t you have control over. For example; maybe you have lost your job, and whilst you might not have control over this, you can choose what jobs you apply for next and how you go about applying for jobs. Whilst you have no control over losing the job, you have control over how you might choose to move forward.

What feelings come up for you when you think about this change? Whether it is a change you are making or a change that has been thrown on you change might bring up different feelings. It can help to spend a bit of time reflecting on your feelings and how they affect you. Sometimes it can help to write these feelings down. If you are feeling confused, overwhelmed or uncertain it can help to score out of ten which feelings are having a greater impact on you. 1 would be the least impact, and 10 the greatest impact. By doing this it can help you make sense of your feelings and help you find ways to manage these feelings. It can also be an opportunity to look at what support you might need to help you through this time of change.

When change occurs in our lives it can be an opportunity to explore thoughts and feelings maybe we hadn’t previously considered. It can encourage us to look at our relationships with others and how we view the world.

Regardless of the changes you might be facing right now, you are still you! Circumstances or relationships might have altered, however you remain the same person.

Here are some ways that can help you manage change.

1. Write down the change on a piece of paper, and then write down all the things that need to be done in order for this change to happen. When you look at these things what do you have control over, and what don’t you have control over. If you like make a list of these things. Once completed I invite you to put aside all those things that you have no control over, and look at the ones you do. With the situations you have control over how might you break this down? By reducing situations in size, or taken the enormity and power out of them, this can help make circumstances feel a lot less overwhelming and a lot more manageable.

2. Reach out to people, and seek support. It’s okay to ask for help.

3. Knowledge is power. Is there any information you need that might help you at this time. How can you get this information? Who might you ask?

4. Sometimes we all just need some reassurance that it’s going to be okay. What words do you need to hear right now. What reassurance do you need? Now I invite you to write a letter of reassurance to yourself? Words can carry power and sometimes written words can be incredibly powerful. If it’s hard to think of what you might say to yourself, what words of encouragement or support might you say to a friend.

5. Sometimes if change feels all too much it’s okay to take a break from thinking about it and spend time doing something you enjoy.

6. Be kind to yourself. However, you feel about the changes you are experiencing in your life at the moment is okay. Step by step you can find a way through the changes you currently face.

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