Month: May 2025

MENTAL HEALTH..HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

Mental health and emotional well being can cover many different areas. It’s a complex subject and as I am not a medical practitioner it is not something I can even begin to describe or define in any great detail. However, having been a counsellor for over twenty years, I am aware of how much mental health and emotional wellbeing issues can affect us as individuals, and the importance of taking care of our mental health and emotional wellbeing.
When our mental health and emotional wellbeing is impacted this can impact our lives and relationships. What I have learnt in my years as a counsellor and from my own experiences is that it’s not always easy to recognise when our mental health is being impacted. Sometimes life situations and relationships can pile up and it can be difficult to see when we might be struggling with our mental health.

One of the keys to maintaining good emotional health is being aware of what’s happening in life and relationships and recognising when situations and circumstances impact you, knock you down, and leave you struggling. As a counsellor, I have heard the phrase ‘it’s not a big problem, others have got bigger problems than me’. I will be honest with you when I have had counselling in the past, I have sometimes felt the same way. So, I would like to share something with you, and it is this. Counselling doesn’t have to be about the big stuff in life, it can be about whatever you need support with, no matter how small it might appear or seem. If it’s important to you, then IT MATTERS! YOU MATTER!

One of the things I sometimes suggest to people is to have a CHECK IN with yourself. A simple, HOW AM I TODAY? WHAT’S GOING ON FOR ME? WHAT DO I NEED SUPPORT WITH?

Checking in with ourselves and how we are doing is an important part of taking care of ourselves, our mental health and emotional wellbeing. Perhaps you are one of life’s copers who gets on with it all, or maybe you just don’t feel you have time. I do understand, sometimes, I admit, I can be guilty of not checking in with myself sometimes. However, I want to share with you something that I often say to my clients. It is this;

Each week or every two weeks, we put out our, household rubbish we want to get rid of out for the refuse collectors. All that unpleasant stuff that builds up in our house that we just don’t want anymore. WE GET RID OF! The refuse collectors come and take it away, so we never need to see it again! We are then left with a nice empty bin or bin liner. Now imagine that you didn’t have bin day. What would happen? The rubbish would build up? Get smelly, mouldy, and take up space in your house? Possibly your health could be impacted?
What I want to say here is, our homes regularly have bin day where we can get rid of our rubbish. Yet, what happens to the stuff that builds up in our heads?? What do we do with it and how do we get rid of it? This is the reason I believe passionately that taking care of our mental health and emotional wellbeing is so important. We all have the ability to do small things to take care of mental health.

Sometimes a good place to start when looking at your mental health and emotional wellbeing and how it is affected can be identifying WHAT is impacting your MENTAL HEALTH.
Here are just a few factors that can impact your mental health. Although you might think of some others too.

• Family
• Relationships
• Health
• Work
• Childhood Issues
• Trauma
• Social Situations

When we are struggling with our mental health this can impact us both physically and emotionally this can come out in different ways through:

• Heightened emotions
• Feeling depressed
• Feelings of isolation, sadness, anger, stress, anxiety, or loneliness
• Sleep issues
• Comfort eating
• Feeling lethargic
• Lack of confidence/self esteem
• Not feeling good enough
• Struggling with relationships/social situations

I would suggest that at some point in our lives many of us might have struggled with our mental health at some point. I want to reassure you that if you have, it’s okay to feel the way you have however this has impacted you. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. No matter what we experience and how our mental health is impacted. THINGS CAN AND DO GET BETTER.
It all starts with that first step, and sometimes talking to someone, really can make a difference. There are also things you can that will help give your mental health a boost.

ACTIVITY:

Here is something, I sometimes invite my clients to do; it’s to rate out of 10 how much particular situations are impacting your mental health and emotional wellbeing.

iF you imagine a scale between 1 and 10. 1 you feel AMAZING and 10 you are feeling at your lowest point. Where would you place yourself? (Just also to say here that all because you feel at this point currently, this isn’t permanent)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Then think about what factors are making it that number. It can help to write them down. For example, is there a situation, relationship or event impacting your mental health? If so, and these circumstances weren’t there, would your mental health improve?

When you have done this take some time to think about what YOU can do to improve your mental health and reduce the factors impacting it. This might not be easy to do, but I encourage you to spend some time thinking about what small step or steps you can put in place improve your mental health. In case you are wondering what small steps might be. They can be as simple as talking to someone, reducing one thing on your to do list, having an extra 5 minutes in bed! It’s whatever works for you.

This activity can help identify the factors impacting our mental health. Once we understand the cause of a situation, it becomes easier to address the impact. By doing so we can put the steps in place we need to improve our mental health and boost our emotional wellbeing.
Here are some things that you can do to maintain and take care of your mental health and emotional wellbeing.

1. Check in with yourself. How are YOU feeling today?
2. Talk to someone
3. If you are struggling speak to a health professional. It’s okay to ask for help
4. Focus on your breathing. Take some deep breaths in and out. Release and let go of any stress or tension you are holding onto.
5. Spend some time outside
6. Get active- You don’t have to be sporty to get active. Walking, dancing, yoga, swimming and tai chai are all ways you can be active
7. Keep a journal. Write a journal, paint, draw or doodle your feelings
8. Do something creative
9. Most importantly; TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF

FEELING OVERWHELMED….and WAYS TO OVERCOME FEELING OVERWHELMED.

My Mum used to have an expression it was ‘you can’t see the wood for the trees’. It’s an expression that has stayed with me and I still think about it from, time to time.
Sometimes life can seem so overwhelming that it is difficult to see a way through it. I know from my own experiences the impact feeling overwhelmed can have on mental health and well being. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to get through that overwhelming feeling and out the other side.

When I feel overwhelmed, I often feel like I can’t think straight, can’t see clearly, and it’s difficult to make decisions. It can also be hard to engage in our relationships with others or life situations. In fact, I can feel trapped in this vicious cycle or overwhelm.

The thing with feeling overwhelmed is, that you don’t just wake up one morning, and think I feel overwhelmed. These feelings can build up over time, and a result it can be hard to know how we reached that point. Maybe the overwhelm starts as one small thing and then gradually it becomes a bigger thing. Those feelings of being overwhelmed can cause us to feel fearful, stressed, angry, or frustrated. So not only are we dealing with feeling overwhelmed we are dealing with a range of emotions that come alongside being overwhelmed. Then before we know it this feeling of being overwhelmed can hold power over us and control our lives which in turn can impact our mental health and emotional well being.

In this post, I want to offer some ways that can help you identify when you are feeling overwhelmed and strategies to help you overcome those feelings of being overwhelmed.
Often when feeling overwhelmed it’s possible to want to avoid that which is overwhelming us, avoid it, or run away from it. This is something I have certainly done in the past. However, avoiding the overwhelming feeling, rather than reducing it can increase it. The most helpful thing we can do with those feelings of being overwhelmed is to face ‘it’, tackle it head on, and take control of it.

Yes, I understand that might sound scary and too much to deal with. Yet, those feelings of being overwhelmed can grow stronger, take charge of our life and hold power over us if we do not find a way to take charge.

The GOOD NEWS is we don’t have to deal with those feelings of overwhelm at once. We can just take it ONE VERY SMALL, VERY TINY STEP AT A TIME.
Along the way taking care of ourselves, being kind to ourselves, loving ourselves, and pausing when we feel need too.

CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF: How many of you recognise when you are feeling overwhelmed? Whether you notice you are feeling overwhelmed or not, one of the things that can help with recognising if you are feeling overwhelmed or not is a daily check in with yourself. When was the last time you checked in with yourself? If you are wondering what a daily check in is, it is checking in to see how you are. It might sound like a simple exercise, yet it can be very effective.
How many times do you ask others how they are? Yet, how often to you ask yourself how you are?When you check in with yourself I would encourage you to think about what you NEED at this time?

TAKE TIME TO GROUND YOURSELF: Sometimes taking some moments to yourself and focus on your breathing can help when feeling overwhelmed. When I say taking time out this doesn’t have to be a lot of time. It can be simply, walking into the garden and back, or in social situation when it’s difficult to leave, going for a toilet break! You can also take those moments to reassure yourself. For instance,
My name is…I am feeling overwhelmed right now BUT. I AM GOING TO BE OKAY. THIS FEELING OVERWHELMED IS TEMPORARY, I HAVE THE SKILLS AND ABILITY TO OVERCOME THIS FEELING.

PACING YOURSELF: Sometimes feeling overwhelmed can occur when feel we have a lot of things, or situations to manage. Sometimes IDENTIFYING AND PRIORITISING what you need to do can reduce those feelings of overwhelm. Sometimes when I work with people, I invite people to thought -storm and write down all the things that overwhelm them. Every tiny thing even if it doesn’t seem important because if you are thinking or feeling it, it is important. This can be work, relationships, social situations, or even emotions related.

Once you have done this, rate each thought/feeling/activity/situation between 1-10. 1 being the least overwhelming 10 being the least.
When you have done this, take the highest scoring situation and then identify if you are able which aspects of it that are causing you the most overwhelming feelings. How do you feel when you have done this?

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO HELP YOU THROUGH THESE FEELINGS OF OVERWHELM?

Is there something you CAN DO to help reduce these feelings? If you can think of 3 things you can do. If finding 3 things is a challenge, then just try 1 thing. Once you have done this, what is the very first thing you can do to get started?
WHAT DOES THE OVERWHELM LOOK LIKE? Sometimes when I ask people what does the overwhelm look like to you? Does it have a shape, a colour, a size, a texture, a smell? How would you describe it. If its hard to describe, it can help to write down words you associate with the overwhelm. Alternatively, draw or doodle it.

WHAT IS CAUSING THE OVERWHELM? IS IT YOUR STUFF? OR IS IT STUFF CREATED BY OTHERS?
From my own experience of feeling/being overwhelmed, and that of working with others, sometimes the overwhelm can come from external factors, situations, or people. If you recognise that external factors are contributing to your being overwhelmed, I invite you to take some time to consider:

WHAT WOULD HELP YOU AT THIS TIME? Below are a few things that can help when looking to reduce and overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed.

• COMMUNICATING, AND SETTING BOUNDARIES
• REDUCING WHAT IS CONTRIBUTING TO THESE FEELINGS
• MAKING CHANGES
• FOCUSSING ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLBEING

Throughout this post, I have shared a few ways that can help you when you are feeling overwhelmed. Here are a few more:

THOUGHT STORMING: Offloading your thoughts and feelings onto paper can be a great way of offloading anything that overwhelms you.

TALKING TO SOMEONE/SEEKING SUPPORT: Sometimes talking to someone. Or, simply asking for help can make a difference.

THE OVERWHELMED BAROMETER: I mentioned earlier about CHECKING IN WITH YOURSELF. The overwhelmed barometer, or indeed traffic light system can help to identify how overwhelmed you are feeling. For instance, how high much you feel overwhelmed, if you had a barometer. Alternatively, if you had a set of traffic lights what colour would your overwhelm be rated.

TAKING 5: Taking 5 minutes as I mentioned before is something that can help when feeling overwhelmed.

A CHANGE OF SCENE: When I say change of seen I am not suggesting an exotic two week holiday somewhere nice a sunny! A change of scene; can be a walk, moving to a different room. If you are at work, it might be going outside at lunch time. I understand not everyone gets a lunch hour now. I have worked in some places where I have barely had 20/30 minutes for lunch, so what I have done is walked out of the doors around the corner and back. When I haven’t been able to do that, I have taken a toilet break to ground myself!

WRITE A LETTER TO THE OVERWHELMED FEELING: Yes, this might sound like a strange one, but it can be a really useful thing to do when feeling overwhelmed. I sometimes ask people what would you like to say to a feeling/emotion/person if they were here now. It can help to verbalise or communicate thoughts or feelings. As well a, verbalising feelings, I also invite people to write letters they don’t send unless of course they wish to! Letters are a really useful way to offload and let go of emotions, in a safe way. They can also be empowering.

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS: There are some FREE PDF DOWNLOADS that you might find helpful on the home page of this website.

FINALLY, what I want to say to you all is that whilst feeling overwhelmed can be a strong, and powerful feeling at times, that can impact us greatly. It doesn’t have to be a permanent situation. We have the ability, to choose what we do with those feelings moving forward. It might seem like that’s impossible right now, BUT, IT IS DOABLE. Everything starts with a small step in life. No matter how small. We ALL have the power to MAKE A CHOICE, that ability to choose allows us to make and create positive change within our lives.

No matter how overwhelmed you might be feeling right now, I wish you peace, and good wishes as you navigate this period of overwhelm in your life. I hope that it passes quickly for you, and the way forward is calmer and more peaceful for you offering you freedom from those overwhelming feelings.